Lyra is a brilliant poetry festival held in Bristol each year. As part of the festival there is a poetry slam. This is a poetry competition where poets battle it out to be crowned the Lyra Grand Slam winner! I was really pleased to make it through to the qualifying rounds this year, and via Zoom I performed a poem called ‘#NewProfilePic’…
At the qualifying rounds, each poet performs and is scored by a mix of scores from three judges (all professional poets) and votes from the audience. I was thrilled to make it through to the grand slam final! This was held at the iconic St Georges’ in Bristol, in front of hundreds of people watching both in person and via a livestream. It was an experience I’ll never forget – performing with so many other amazing poets on such a big stage! I chose to perform a poem that’s really important to me. It’s called ‘Little Jo’ and it’s me as an adult revisiting younger versions of myself, saying what I felt I might have needed to hear at those points in my life. You can see my performance in the video below. Check out www.lyrafest.com for more information about the festival.
This is a poem I originally wrote years ago, but never felt able to share. The idea behind the poem is me as an adult, revisiting younger versions of myself to say the things I might have needed to hear at those points in my life. I often use refrains in my poetry, and the refrain in this one is there to separate the different versions of me, as well as acknowledging the fact that as a kid, if a random stranger came up to me and started giving me advice I probably wouldn’t hang around! So adult me would have to make it quick if they were going to catch me, and then make me listen.
I didn’t have an easy time as a kid, and there’s something profoundly meaningful about speaking out loud the things I needed to hear and know then, but didn’t. The voice I use is deeply self-compassionate and hopeful, but it’s also honest, firm and direct. I think I needed all of those types of voices growing up!
I found the original version of the poem again recently, and hated it. I hated it because so many of the lines and verses reflected a version of me that I’m trying so hard not to be now. I wrote lines and even whole verses about wrapping everything up into a nice little package of transformation for myself and others, communicating that one day everything will be perfect. I hinted that success meant I would eventually be TOTALLY FINE ALL OF THE TIME and would achieve all of these great things, that my value would come from those achievements and how I used my story to help others. Oh and of course that I would be this strong, unbreakable and independent person who didn’t need anyone’s help ever again.
So, I rewrote it. I love the concept and I think it has power so I didn’t want to bin it completely. But I have binned some of the messages I now recognise as toxic or unhealthy, and I’ve replaced some with a more realistic view of what it means to thrive and be whole, or at least my view of what that means.
Now, I love it, and it was great fun to perform it recently in front of a live audience at the 2024 Bristol Lyra Poetry Festival. You can read more about my involvement in that here. You can listen to the poem below, and if you need the words they’re also below. I hope you enjoy it, and I also hope that you have the opportunity to say some of the things that ‘Little You’ might have needed to hear.
Hey there little Jo, listen up before you go Because I’ve got some things to tell you that I think you need to know.
Now I’m not a stranger and you’re not in any danger Think of me as like your very own Power Ranger. See I wouldn’t neglect or reject I’d protect you and I’d interject when they disrespect you. I’d be there at the hospital when they called your name When they prodded and poked you and didn’t explain When they tried in vain to take all that pain Well I’d hold your little hand or play a silly game.
Hey there little Jo, listen up before you go Because I’ve got some things to tell you that I think you need to know.
By now you’re a little older and the world’s grown a little colder And the ways you feel different just seem to be getting bolder As the weight of this world starts to rest on your shoulders. I know the mould they’ve made for you just doesn’t fit And it hurts and harms as you squeeze into it Well eventually that mould will start to split As you accept who you are bit by bit.
Hey there little Jo, listen up before you go Because I’ve got some things to tell you that I think you need to know.
Now come the names, the stones and sticks The lies, betrayals, punches and kicks. I wish I could be there to tell you they’re wrong They think you’re weak but I know you’re strong You should never have faced that on your own But I’m here to tell you you were never alone You won’t get that yet but hang in there Jo Cause this all turns around trust me I know.
Hey there little Jo, listen up before you go Because I’ve got some things to tell you that I think you need to know.
Your eyes look at me now and they’re full of hate Cause you’ve had enough there’s too much on your plate Your heart’s been replaced by a solid dead weight So to make it seem lighter you self-medicate. You don’t want to know but you’ve got to learn That in the morning the pain just returns Like fighting the smoke while the fire still burns It’ll never give you the peace you deserve.
Hey there little Jo, listen up before you go Because I’ve got some things to tell you that I think you need to know.
Well you made your escape and I’ve gotta say well done Cause I know there were times when it felt like they’d won And those very same people said you’d never overcome But where are they now? There’s none left no not one. See you’re different now and you’re starting to dream And you’re getting that help from the mental health team You’re doing the work and fuck does it hurt But it’ll heal you and help you feel your worth
Hey there little Jo, listen up before you go Because I’ve got some things to tell you that I think you need to know.
I’m nearly done but before I leave There’s something about pain you need to believe. You long to be relieved from the stuff that you grieve And although not naive it takes time to achieve. Just hold on be patient and give it some time If it was all done at once Jo you wouldn’t survive But if you trust the process one day you’ll thrive As what’s real and your dreams start to beautifully collide.
So see ya little Jo, I’m off now I’ll go I hope these things I’ve told you are helpful for you to know.
